Life blows

So, I have come to realize that I haven't had a active mother figure in my life since I was about 15....and I am almost 30. I have my ex step mom who I call my mom, she married my dad when I was 3 and was the only mom that I knew. But even now and in the last few years, I do not have any sort of regular contact with her. She is around for holidays and birthdays and if I really need something, but that is about it. I have a step mom now, she is really good to my kids but we don't really have a relationship either. She always posts pictures and stuff she does with her kids or my younger sisters and it kind of hurts. I shouldn't get upset that she does things with her own kids, I guess I just wish I would be taken out to dinner or to a concert or spent time with. I sit here at home alone with the kids every day, nobody really talks to me, except for my friend next door. I have nobody ever contact me first to even just talk or say hey. I literally feel so isolated and alone and I don't know what to do.

Sort of Better

Cheyenne passed her hearing test! I am so relieved for that. But that doesn't help with letting us know why she isn't "talking" like she should be. She also isn't sitting up yet and she should have already. I am starting to worry a little bit. 
Aaron passed his hearing test. He failed two at school but passed the one at Children's. 
That is my good news for now. 

Problems

Cheyenne possibly has more problems. I have to take her to Children's on September 3rd for a official hearing test. She isn't 'talking' like she should, so the first step is a hearing test. I am so worried about what the results will be. I really am hoping for good results! I hate the waiting for the appointment. And on September 25th I take her back to Children's for her kidneys. Another thing to worry about unfortunately.

VENTING

I need to vent some here!!! I signed Aaron up to play soccer. The coach for his team should have already let me know when first practice is, actually first practice should have taken place by now. I emailed him and I still have not received a response!!!! I am SO pissed off! I have never had a stranger make me so angry. I do have a life and need to know when practice and stuff it! I know it is petty to get angry over this, but he has his first game in 3 weeks and he has never played soccer before. I am also super on edge lately!!! Every little thing is making me super frustrated and irritated! 
SERIOUSLY?????? How hard is it to contact parents???? If you chose to coach a soccer team, then be a damn coach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 4, 2014

June 9, 2014

June is going to be a very busy month for me. Things are planned for almost every day. But it will make for a good summer for the kids.
Aaron starts soccer in July, and he is SO excited!

Life Now

Cheyenne Renee was born on February 14, 2014 at 12:41pm. She is such a cute thing! We found out that she does have kidney problems. She has bilateral hydronephrosis, duplex right kidney, duplex ureters, and UPJ. So far, her kidneys are working ok. But she may need surgery in the future. She also has a milk protein allergy, so has to be on soy formula. I did try to breastfeed her and I feel awful that it didn't work out.

When Cheyenne was 1 week 2 days old, I almost died. I had a late postpartum hemorrhage. I woke up to blood and clots gushing out of me. I had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. The ER doctor used these giant q-tips and scraped the clots out of me. It was so painful. After that, I started turning blue and was going into shock. Overall, I was in the hospital for 3 days and given super strong antibiotics and a total of 4 bags of blood. I am ok now, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, anxiety, and mild ptsd from the trauma and I am now on medicine.

Aaron had surgery on May 2nd. They had to fix his messed up circumcision. It was so scary watching him get the anesthesia. But he is doing good now and it is healing really good.

Tomorrow I have an eye doctor appointment. Hopefully I get glasses so that I can see better. We shall see. I also have a dentist appointment next month, my teeth got messed up while I was pregnant. Also a dermatologist appointment next month. I am really scared about that appointment. I'll find out what the weird bumps on my nose are and hopefully get thing removed from my elbow. I just hope they are all nothing serious.